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From Chapter 7: Skill #3: Eliminate Distraction
Distraction is a major enemy of dynamic leadership. Among other things, distraction will divert you from listening attentively, will block you from thinking clearly, will prevent you from balancing facts, and will rob the time you need to make reasoned, prudent decisions.
We’re seeing real listening skills vanish from the workplace. It’s a prime reason that people are not taking the time to create sexy, powerful operations that display strong values.
How often have you found yourself in a serious conversation within the office environment only to have the person you are talking with interrupted by (pick one) a blackberry humming, a cell phone ringing the beginning of Jimmy Hendrix playing the Star Spangled Banner, a pager rattling, an intercom announcing an important call or an alarm going off on a PDA.
We’ve seen people actually doing e-mail while they think they are discussing an important issue with a fellow worker. What are you communicating when if you allow these distractions to grab your attention? What does it feel like when it happens to you? It either means that you are not able to keep your mind upon the topic that has been brought to your desk, or you saying that your distractions are more important than the person in front of you. If serious issues are being discussed, you are really saying that you are either unwilling or unable to handle the situation. Unfortunately, distraction will not be one of the skills you will want to develop if you are interested in making sexuality, politics and religion creative tools in your operation.
When we do seminars we have a set of fun rules that we discuss in the very beginning of the day. The first one is that everyone must turn off their cell phones. If a phone does go off, it costs the participant 5 dollars. If they actually answer it, it costs another 5 dollars. The money goes onto a table in the middle of the room. (We’ll talk more in this chapter about putting money in the middle of the table.) The obvious reason that we do this is because we don’t want people distracted. The more important reason is that we are setting a tone that we expect people to carefully focus and listen to each other without distraction. This idea arose from doing a workshop that included a CFO that actually had his laptop on and in front of him – in a constant state of readiness to take e-mail which he actually did 4-5 times each hour. Now it’s strictly no laptops on and no cell phones on and guess what . . . it works. People who come to our seminars quickly get the message and, in fact, are generally relieved to be able to focus upon a topic for an entire day without distraction. What a concept!
Adopt a rule to ban distraction in as many ways as you are able. Start out slowly. Turn off your cell phones when you in meetings or in significant discussions – even with individual one on one conversations of significance. Include a fine that can be levied without making the process punitive. Put the money in a bowl at the front desk. Give the money in a fun public way to a charity and explain where the money came from.
You have two kinds of distractions to deal with—your personal distractions and the distractions confronting your colleagues. Set up some personal ground rules for yourself, such as:
• I will turn off, not silence, my cell phone, Blackberry, and pager when talking and listening.
• I will not turn them back on unless I have time to listen or read all messages and respond to them in a quiet, deliberate way.
The point is that you want to be just as respectful to the people contacting you electronically as those talking face-to-face with you.
• I will use meeting breaks for resting and networking, not reacting to incoming messages.
• I will develop a mindset that I control my space and time.
• I will not allow others to control my time or my space by thinking they have immediate access to me 24/7.
• I will be available at reasonable times to respond to messages—the emphasis is on reasonable.
• I will not be reactive. Instead, I will be deliberate in my approach to reading and responding to voice mail, email, and pages.
• I will not confuse “high productivity levels” with being self-absorbed or self-important.
For your colleagues, you might consider:
• In all meetings, all devices are switched OFF, not standby, not silenced—OFF.
• Respond to messages only when you have time to be deliberate—not during meeting breaks.
• Refrain from interrupting face-to-face conversations by taking a cell call or reading an email.
When you get cell phones under control, attack e-mail. The improper use of e-mail is a corporate scourge. Not only do we use e-mail when we need to get up and talk with someone, but we rush to our e-mail first thing in the morning. We spend the rest of the day reacting and largely ignore what’s happening in the moment around us. If someone is caught doing e-mail during a conversation, get them to put a dollar in the bowl at the front desk.
Imagine the power of people knowing that they can depend upon you to carefully listen when they are talking with you about important matters.
Here’s a hint. Listening has nothing to do with making decisions. You don’t need to make decisions when you are listening. Just listen and make decisions later. It’s very easy to be thinking about solutions and decisions and end up not really listening. One reason is that we are naturally judgmental—i.e., our brains judge and make decisions every moment we are awake. You become an effective leader when you override your natural tendency to judge and decide at the moment.
Another hint: Want to avoid unnecessary arguments? If you really listen for value to what people are saying and don’t allow your mind to wander into judgment, people will share their deepest thoughts and values without fear. You can avoid all defensiveness and argument because you are simply listening.
A third hint: Careful listening is contagious. When you listen intently without judgment, others will learn its value and become good listeners as well. A room full of listeners can be deafening because so much can be heard. Remember, argument and conflict takes at least two to tango. You can decide not to dance into disputes by simply listening to what others are saying.
Here’s the listening checklist:
• Give your people your undivided attention—no distractions.
• Ask questions that seek to clarify your understanding of what is being said.
• Keep your ego locked away.
• When you become aware of making judgments about people, places, or ideas, gently let go of them and refocus on what is being said.
• Remain undefended and open at all times.
• Summarize back what has been said and verify that you have given a fair summary.
• Don’t make a decision right now…take some time and deliberate.
If people actually feel that you have listened, they will be more ready to accept your decision. If they feel you were distracted with your own agenda while you were “listening,” they will be far more reticent to accept a decision that is not clearly in their favor. When you have to make that tough decision you want everyone to feel that you took the time to listen before you made your decision. Any distraction is the enemy - listening is a critical key to success.